After months of listening to Donald Trump (a true ordeal), I am finally able to present a partial translation guide. It might seem very simple, but he has been using these phrases consistently with the meaning below.
"Fake news": an inconvenient truth
"Everybody knows": I claim this without any evidence
"People are saying": some paid shill tweeted
"Nobody knew": everybody knew but me
"Few people know": most people know but I just found out, although I completely misunderstood it
"When people hear this, they are surprised": I just made this shit up
"I swear": I'm kidding
"I promise you": I really don't give a crap
"Believe me": I am lying to you
"It's true": it's not
Use this parlor to better understand President* Trump!
