"White House detaching from reality in 3... 2... 1... Mark."
"Disconnection confirmed. WH, you are now in moral and ethical free fall. No arguments will reach you, and your narrative will be unhampered by facts."
"Commencing tests. Donald Trump, our great leader, today received congratulations from everyone for his bold decision to unilaterally pull out of the Paris Climate Accord and join the proud nations of Nicaragua and Syria in forging its own path ahead."
"It seems to be working. You said that with a straight face."
"What? Sorry, I can't hear you. But I really don't want to. The White House wishes everyone to know that President Donald Trump, our glorious and benevolent leader who makes America great again with his every breath, is currently handling international politics by playing golf. He hit five hole-in-ones already on the first round and solved several of the world's long standing problems by sending out carefully worded, perfectly balanced and absolutely correctly spelled tweets. Other world leaders are bowing down to him in awe."
"Hello? I think you may have broken something there. We see some very strange readings on our end. This seems to be backfiring."
"Everything is fine. The President is doing a great job and everybody loves him. There is no Russia story. The future looks bright, and we are so very, very."
"So very what? WH, you're off the scale. That was way too much for the system. You had better come back and do a reality check."
"Lalala, I'm not listening."
"Ground Control to WH, do you read me?"
"Ooh, look, a butterfly! President Trump invented those, you know. Few people know that, but it's true."
"That's it. You're gone. You will crash and burn, and there is nothing we can do. Ground Control signing off."
