Thursday, September 20, 2007

A heap of dung by any other name still smells

"What's in a name? That which we call a dung-heap,
by any other name would smell as vile."
The ISO fast track procedure for OOXML is good material for comedy. Here's one little dialog you can perform with some friends.


Two Microsoft employees wearing false beards knock on ISO:s door. ISO opens.
– Hi, we're from Micros... um, Ecma International, and we have a horse we'd like to be in the race.
– Race? There's no race. We have a fast track, is that what you mean?
– Right, the fast track. That's it. Here's the horse. A beauty, isn't she? 6,000 pounds of muscle.
They point to a stinking pile on the ground behind them.
– That's not a horse. It's leftover animal parts in a big sack with some horse-like bits stuck on.
– No, it's a horse, honestly. She's ready to take on any opponent, just get her into the race.
– I told you, there's no race, no opponents, just a fast track.
– Right, right, that's what we meant. She's ready for the fast track. Now, please.
The Microsoft employees look at their watches, as if there was some kind of hurry.
– Are you sure? I don't think that rotting pile of meat would move even if you set fire to it.
– Sure it would. Look, that... leg... bit just moved!
One of them kicks the sack, and it wobbles a little. ISO frowns and starts to close the door.
– No, sorry, but we can't put just anything on our fast track. We have standards, you know. Bye!
– But wait, we can pay for it. We have the money ready and everything.
ISO stops closing the door and looks puzzled.
– Money? There's no fee to put a horse on the fast track.
– No fee? But we brought a billion dollars. Are you sure you don't want any of it?
– A horse, you say? Well, why don't you come in? Fine animal, indeed!